euu typedd*:
blog
(Friday, January 26, 2007-)
+12:16 AM]*
# I wan to say something but i wun.-
Yeap wun say anything today.
I'm afraid of saying something stupid.
To make people feel bad.
or make people hate me more.
the story ends like this;
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(Monday, January 22, 2007-)
+5:25 PM]*
# hungry. Both on the inside n outside~-
I am so hungry~ stupid test. make me hungry.
as of blog time, i am in the lab slacking~ juz finished my test though.
My mind is hungry~
My stomach is hungry~
today lunch n breakfast consists of a McMuffin, 5 machiam nuggets n a red bull -.-
so hungry~
the story ends like this;
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(Sunday, January 21, 2007-)
+12:01 PM]*
# ?-
Guilty. Becoz of me. Things changed. Awkward. all over the place.
Maybe one day...
Finally.
I wun say too much. I may offend someone.
the story ends like this;
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(Thursday, January 18, 2007-)
+12:47 AM]*
# Affect me not.-
the story ends like this;
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(Wednesday, January 17, 2007-)
+8:34 AM]*
# Morning dread.-
What happens when suddenly u lose ur voice so early in the morning. when i woke up, i felt the urge to juz go back to slp. but somehow, i juz edged myself to the end of my bed and said gd morning to the floor in the rudest of ways.
Feeling veri sickish. oh well. back to 'work'.
the story ends like this;
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(Tuesday, January 16, 2007-)
+11:25 PM]*
# Murder of the mind.-
Its a crime.
To murder one's mind is to murder one's self.
Today was a rather carefree day.
Mjed for tat 2 hours.
came home n slp. slp it all off.
When i woke up, my first tgt was to study but no mood.
currently slacking the nite off. like waitin for something to happen.
I once again challenged my logic. my principles. my POVs.
It seems like i am veri discontented wif myself.
In a way, i felt like i have offended everyone.
So whats wrong? Dis qxn will stick with me for a long time.
the story ends like this;
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+8:45 AM]*
# Unreverse.-
Many atimes, we wish, prayed or even begged for time to juz go the other way. but time will nvr slow down, spd up or even stand still for u. let alone go back.
I ask myself why?
Why did u do that thing ytd?
I duno. Impulse at the most. It felt right at the moment.
If so, would u have chosen another way?
I would have. Overcome wif physical ill and mental stress, the outcome would almost be the same.
But still it was foolish.
Stop saying that.
Alright. What now den?
Doin what i have to do.
Isint dere something more u can do?
No. Dis is my place. i noe where i stand.
U realise tat somehow, somewhere it was the right thing to do. i dun mean that. i mean dis.
ah. i agree. sooner or later ba.
Human. U r juz being human. i see no fault in that.
Even so, it was silly.
No amount of self debate can get me to feel any better.
Dis is the 'best' i can feel now.
Time will wash away hatre.
Time will wash away sadness.
Time will wash away pain.
Ironic. While time moves, i stand still.
the story ends like this;
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(Monday, January 15, 2007-)
+9:13 PM]*
# The Black Lust.-
I did something which i cannot take back.
Desperation drove me to wit's end.
What i felt was simple. Desperation.
At any point, at any angle, no matter how u look at it.
it seems desperate.
Imagine someone daoing u for a wk. Of coz, a certain desperation juz grew in u.
Yes. My tgts let dis thing grow. Hmph. Part of being an emotion based person.
This Thing. i wun say wat.
The thing i am suppose to do is just forget.
Forget it all.
Dam its not goin to be easy but still i have to do it.
Forgiveness? I wun ask for it.
Punishment? I felt like i juz received it.
Repent? Tats something i am waiting to do.
My existence is made of the people ard me.
I lost someone near n dear to me. fine. i.... accept it.
I lost a part of me.
In the past, i lost a few 'parts' of me.
I accepted those losses.
One day, i will accept dis loss but now...
I muz live thru wat i did.
I drove it to sadness.
I drove it to pain.
When i stare at whats behind me, i dun feel staring at anymore.
ADA. Fujitsu S6240.
Hull status: damaged. Base cracked.
Primary protocol functioning at 100%
Systems all go.
ADA. I'm sorry.
Thx hl for listening. Thx wk for helping me out.
I noe whatever i say wun help.
So i wun say anything.
the story ends like this;
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(Sunday, January 14, 2007-)
+8:01 PM]*
# Typical Day-
Well. It was a typical sunday.
Woke up at 11. slowly slowly got rdy for tkd.
den started waiting the bus at 1230.
dis is the zzz part.
waited for like 30 min. den the bus came. it was full! ZZZ.
den waited for another 10 min. den finally it came la.
den reach tkd at 130. late... haish
usual stuff
my jr say i look like a 21 yr old. ZZZZ Do i look so old to u?
anw. came home. now slacking.
the story ends like this;
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(Thursday, January 11, 2007-)
+12:54 AM]*
# I juz duno....-
Look. Anyone can tell i reli tried.
n still am trying la.
but i reli duno wtf is goin on?
dun dao me for no reason? plz?
zzz. i feel like i am toking to myself.
the story ends like this;
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(Wednesday, January 10, 2007-)
+8:30 AM]*
# urge. control. resist.-
I have dis strong urge. to juz ask wat the fuck is wrong.
But am i too timid?
no.
the reason being i dun wanna rock the boat.
Somehow. its true that curiousity killed the cat.
But did the cat noe the risk b4 asking?
yes. it was a well calculated risk as always.
For the greater good?
no
For selfish desire.
the desire to noe wats happening.
is tat so much to ask?
the story ends like this;
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(Tuesday, January 09, 2007-)
+11:18 AM]*
# Recurring.-
Its like a standard process for me. No matter wat i do. These tgts plague my mind.
Wrong place wrong time?
Something i said?
Something i did?
Eh clueless on this situation.
I should have been used to dis. but i am not.
Or maybe its wat shaun said: every lil thing adds up to the pt tat it explodes.
so wat izzit that happened?
or things tat happened?
maybe i suan too much?
maybe.....
maybe.....
its all clueless to me.
Bin Bin~ y so violent~ wan to slap bitches all of a sudden?
i noe wat u r trying to tell me.
to stand up to her.
haish. if onli u noe how i feel lo
the story ends like this;
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(Monday, January 08, 2007-)
+11:45 AM]*
# Same Tgts Diff feeling.-
Somehow, i tink the same(overdoing it)
but den, when i tink of dis particular ting tat juz hit me, wun elborate, i still overdo it. as in my thinking n yet, i feel differently about it. its been a constant for awhile until i realised hey. its kinda silly. so wat for cont tinking. but the more i tell myself tat, the more i tink. the more i wan to tink. its a cycle. I juz cant stop.
Doubt filled my mind at first
den nxt feeling was anger.
den foloed by a void of emotions. the feeling whereby u juz wanna sit dere n blank out.
My life changed since u went away. i feel somehow lazy yet motivated.
Unchanged yet changed.
The most confirmed feeling though is dis void.
the story ends like this;
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(Saturday, January 06, 2007-)
+2:56 PM]*
# Haish Tgts.-
Wat i tink.
i duno reli....
my tinking time is spent mostly on wat to tink.
izzit deres nothing to tink about? or izzit juz tat my solutions r getting short.
i rmb b4, when i always calculated every step. every plan was intricate. veri well planned out. now its juz the main idea n the nxt line would be "it will work out somehow"
somehow it doesnt feel like myself.
izzit the change? I duno.
Something juz hit me real hard la.
i duno wanna tok about it. it sux.
the story ends like this;
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(Thursday, January 04, 2007-)
+2:53 PM]*
# Phew...-
the story ends like this;
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+6:35 AM]*
# Oh~-
haha. Ytd took a ride in gj's lorry. honestly, That was my first time riding a lorry. however, it happened to be a very prolonged one.
Turns out that, gj wasnt veri gd wif the roads, so took many u turns and reverses.
Oh well. It was kinda cool to see ppl from another view, which is from the cargo area. lol.
so we went to simlim tower to buy components. At one point, i felt~~~ silly la.(after reflecting on it)
i went home n found myself filling sillier~
i realised tat ppl do need their space. so i kinda muz back off abit. alright. will do.
n the reason tat i am blogging so early in the morning was becoz my router went haywire(again) ytd. took some time to configure it again.
oh well. cyas~
the story ends like this;
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