euu typedd*:
blog
(Friday, November 17, 2006-)
+10:20 AM]*
# Useless feeling.-
I feel useless. How many times? How many minutes? How many hours? How many days?
I'm not sure.
its as if i lost alredi. i feel veri lost like the maze of my own mind.
I'm tired. Tired of doin dis over n over again. I need some kind of plan.
something to overcome dis big hurdle. Its not an academic hurdle. Its an emotional hurdle.
My problem is the pessimistic thinking: Always the worst. Nvr the best. Why izzit tat no matter wat i try or do, it always backfires on me. Like u noe. A missle 90 degrees. Letting it run out of fuel n den juz drop back on u. how silly is tat. Maybe i am overdoing it. maybe i am goin about dis the wrong way. I duno... I cannot tink str. Dis illness has taken over. Paranoia... The inability to see the truth, but onli the mind's truth. In my mind, everything n everyone is against me...
Hesitate or Action? That is the ting tat plagues my mind.
It seems like i am alot like my mum. Paranoid. Inherited? maybe? or izzit becoz of my environment? I duno... I blow myself wif rhetorical qxns. Inquiste the loyality of great frens. Doubt the logic tat has kept mi alive n well for so long. Izzit my time to go? Its been fun. but it looks my time is about to come...
the story ends like this;
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