euu typedd*:
blog
(Tuesday, July 03, 2007-)
+11:43 PM]*
# -
The thing is...
After a fight or any major dispute between 2 close friends, its like a ritual to meet up physically to ensure that both parties are sincere about still being friends.
well, the problem is that on monday, what i was really angry was at that meeting being cancelled. and when i offered an alternative, well i didnt receive an answer at all. even if i did, i felt like it was pting to 'nah i don't wanna meet' direction.
I don't know whether it sounds like an unreasonable request. but what i really wanted was to just see you lo.
I know i have been very unreasonable... Very mean with the way i say things to you. perhaps if i still have another chance, i will filter out some thoughts to be spoken at all...
Honestly... i haven't been a very good friend as of late... with what landed on our relationship. ya...
I have become very pessimistic. Paranoid. Unappreciative.
All in all, I am starting to suck.
sorry dear... somehow sorry doesnt really cut it anymore. no matter how i try, no matter how i want to.
Maybe its my fault for not being able to lie at such a crucial moment...
Sorry... theres nothing more i can say...
How i wish i could offer more...
This is my final entry...
good bye.
the story ends like this;
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+11:10 PM]*
# -
...
I think...
Fuck...
What kind of thoughts are these?
Animosity fills the soul.
i lost the ability to see whats gonna happen...
my sight is so clouded by torrent doubt and distrust...
someone juz save me la...
the story ends like this;
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+9:47 PM]*
# try try try n try.-
I'm trying...
I don't know how else can i say it.
I'm trying...
Really I am...
=(
the story ends like this;
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+7:34 PM]*
# -
I'm becomin a jerk. someone stop me. i m pushing someone i hold dear.
shit.
what izzit tat i want.
so depressing my tgt are.
oh dear
the story ends like this;
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(Monday, July 02, 2007-)
+6:25 PM]*
# Worst of Times.-
Apparently, i aint allowed to stay happy for too long. I cant be allowed to smile for more than a month. if not, i would probably be struck down by a series of suay events.
Right now, i got nothing but sadness and frustration.
The worst is that its affected the people around me.
I am seriously losing myself. No matter what I try, I cannot seem to stay me for a long period of time.
I guess somewhere sometime i committed something so bad that I will be constantly plagued by people who disappoint me. As of now, I don't know what is more saddening; my life or the people i know.
Or maybe its because i expect too much out of people. well, i guess thats the only conclusion i can form.
I remember a good friend once telling me, "When it comes to real friends, we don't count the favors we give each from time to time. Because the minute we do, we lose sight of that friend and think of him or her as someone who is in debt to you."
Gosh. I have to relearn this lesson.
In the end, I don't think I'm a good friend at all.
I flare my temper when i don't feel good.
I take my anger on my friends.
Oh dear.
Fuck. I need a revamp.
the story ends like this;
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(Saturday, June 30, 2007-)
+11:04 PM]*
# indeed it is.-
Oh man... I feel like such a jerk.
haish.
Don't feel like explaining.
the story ends like this;
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+2:12 AM]*
# Changes Changes-
Oh dear~ I blundered big time.
usually, when faced with such a question, one would just lie~
but no~~ I didn't keep my cool.
Sigh* i blundered. Thats the bottom line.
Right. Now for the future.
I fear losing what I hold dearest.
I really don't what things to change. well at least not yet.
But past experiences tells me it will.
Better or Worst. I don't know.
I only wish that you stay by my side.
Sigh*
Don't want things to change but it will.
Please don't change.
Why do I feel like I've already lost you.
:(
the story ends like this;
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(Tuesday, June 26, 2007-)
+5:10 PM]*
# Stepping Out. Or not?-
Well. Aiyo~ wat a situation.
Have you ever had this scenerio?
U love her too much to tell her u like her becoz ure afraid tat u may spoil the relationship?
lol tats wat im feeling now la.
Izzit a lousy excuse? even though i noe its not pted directly at me~
haish.
Feel like stepping out. should i or should i not?
oh dear.
the story ends like this;
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(Wednesday, June 20, 2007-)
+9:18 PM]*
# Attack of the long hair ladies!-
After goin to sch to complete the presentation for comm skills,
went to meet yj hl n gj for sushi~
buffet one~ tired of paying 1 plate for 2 bucks
anw, after a veri filling dinner, went to walk ard far east.
after tat, went home on 132
On the bus, i was 'attacked' by 2 long hair ladies.
the bus was a double decker, not veri crowded but all the seats were taken. so stood ard the allocated area. i took a corner wif a lady in pink sitting beside where i was standing.
heres the sian part, she was slping. her head bobbled ard freely.
its ok if ur head bobbles due to the motion of the bus.
but tat toot hit me several times on my arm.
Finally but unfortunately, she put her head on my arm la!
ZZZZ
u noe if shes chio, u wun mind but shes butt ulgy! ARGH!
I elbowed her awake~ i noe its abit mean but it was so dam uncomfortable wif my lappy and all.
Den dis long hair girl stood in front of me. it would be ok on normal conditions but no~~~ she had to swing her head left n right. Her hair flew~ n started to swipe me. ZZZZ. at times it was ticklish. Others it was juz pain!
I bth. den let juz go of the handle. unintentionally, it hit her~
wahaha. abit of pay back.
woo~
okok
tats enugh reporting.
right off now
byez~
the story ends like this;
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(Saturday, June 16, 2007-)
+8:38 PM]*
# Well the usual-
Right. Today went to study CTs coming n all.
but i cant help tinking of my position.
yes i am sitting.
wat i mean is where i stand in her eyes.
6 months~ hmmmmm so wats up about it?
ever since my latest incident, i told myself that b4 u go rushing into telling anyone u like her. well take a step back n see wat she reli is. well i tink i sounded kinda mean but u get my pt.
I guess~ every case is different n needs to be care accordingly~
well tats all
the story ends like this;
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(Friday, June 15, 2007-)
+10:06 PM]*
# Rhythmless~-
Well. I guess the onli time i come back to blog is when i have something to rant about.
Right.
Hmmmmm i guess i feel abit awkward now.
Cant say tat i m not trying anything.
well, as far as i can tell, i am alredi trying my best.
lol the onli now i ponder over is wat m i trying my best for?
Reli~ i wanna let her noe but i juz feel tat its too premature to juz go off n say 'i love you~ be my gf~'
...
ok tat sounded weird ba. But in a way, i always wanted to tell her dis line... juz not tat bluntly la.
So the qxn to myself is wat m i reli trying to achieve doin all tat hu-ha~
Sometimes i feel tat i am over-calculating.
Yet sometimes i feel tat i m being veri insensitive to her.
Wat a lousy situation.
Supposely dis girl of my dreams is so hard to achieve. or at least i am trying to obtain of her. From what i feel, shes looking for a totally diff kind of guy.
not dis goof ball hu cannot be bothered wif life and what it can offer.
Shesh~ what high self esteem~ i juz lost mine~
the story ends like this;
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